This year has been challenging for me. I’ve often found myself disappointed in my own decisions and struggling to face my fears. At times, it felt like the universe wasn’t aligned in my favor. When I reflect on the year, from its beginning to its end, I see flashes of all the difficult moments, which only deepens my sadness. Even now, when I look at myself, I feel an emptiness—like there’s something missing that should be there.
I’m surrounded by wonderful people and have access to great resources, yet there’s still a void within me. Each morning, I wake up with the hope of starting fresh, ready to write a new chapter in my life, but I often find myself complicating things unnecessarily. This feeling is unfamiliar—I’ve never felt this way. I had this feel like disappearing as if you never existed. Even today when you ask me how I’m doing. I’m not sad or depressed; in fact, I’m genuinely happy, both outwardly and inwardly. But there’s a sense that I’m stagnant, as though I’m moving backward rather than forward.
Last year, I was different. I’m proud of the person I’ve become today—resilient, uninfluenced, and strong-willed. Yet, despite this strength, I feel like I’ve hit a pause, unable to find the momentum to move ahead.
A Little Corner of Creative Chaos
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