Today, when I reflect on myself, I feel an overwhelming sense of pride and happiness From the schoolgirl Vishu who was once naive, confused, an emotional fool dreamer, scared to express her thoughts and fragile to the 21-year-old version of Vish who is strong headed, stubborn, straightforward, who knows what she wants, full of self love and still sucks at making life decisions. The journey has been one of self growth, resilience, and self-discovery, and I embrace every step of it. While I may not be the nicest person to everyone, but to some, I will always be unwaveringly biased and supportive, no matter what.
Lets start from the start , I’ve always been surrounded by friends—I was never alone. You could say I was afraid of being left out, and, in some ways, I still am. As a child, relationships were simple; emotions didn’t complicate things. You played, laughed, and bonded effortlessly, and the more time you spent together, the closer you became.
Growing up, I considered someone very close to me. We had been friends since we were eight years old. I was always kind and generous to her, but she often treated me poorly. She would act differently in front of others at school—sometimes even insulted me. There were moments when she acted like my best friend, but other times, she didn’t want to see my face. This pattern went on for years.
Back then, I had no self-respect. I was easily manipulated and would do anything to maintain what I thought was ‘friendship.’ I believed that was how friendships were supposed to be.
But then, I met a friend who changed my perspective entirely. This friend stood up for me, never looked down on me, respected me, and always guided me in the right direction. That’s when I realized what real friendship looks like—mutual respect, kindness, and genuine care. Today, we’ve been friends for more than seven years and counting, and it feels good to have beautiful friendship that stayed.
That phase of my life eventually came to an end, and with it, I learned valuable lessons. I became more self-aware and embraced change. I started focusing on appreciating myself and prioritizing self-love. Some mistook this for self-obsession, but they simply dumb enough to understand the difference. Self-obsession carries a negative connotation—the belief that the world revolves around you. That’s never been my mindset. For me, self-love is about recognizing my worth and celebrating myself. I’ve realized I don’t need validation from anyone. If I can appreciate myself, that’s more than enough. They always taunts me by saying self obsessed individual . I’ll take it as a pleasure .
Despite everything, I’ve learned to stand up for myself. However, there’s one thing about myself I struggle with—when I care deeply about a bond, no matter how many times the person hurts me, I find myself holding on. The weight of the beautiful memories we’ve shared often outweighs the pain they’ve caused me. I focus on preserving the bond, overlooking the hurt, often minimizing the impact of their actions. It’s a part of me I’m still working on, learning to balance forgiveness with self-respect.
I’ve learned to embrace everything with pride, even the curses and criticisms others have thrown my way. One of the curses I’ve heard is, ‘You’ll lose all your relationships with this attitude.’ But frankly, I’m determined to hold onto this mindset. I’ll carry this attitude to new heights. Many tried to manipulate me into believing it’s my fault for being the way I am, but no more. I will no longer be easily manipulated or guilted into apologies unless I’ve truly made a mistake. I won’t hold back just to save a bond that isn’t genuine. I’ll make sure I’m not taken for granted, simply because I listen to my emotions I care deeply. I will prioritize myself more, choose myself first. It’s time to protect my peace and ensure that I’m valued for who I am, not for what I give.
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