Uncategorized – Vish blogs

Things I hate about myself

Welcome to my imperfect world.
Today, I want to share something different—something I usually don’t talk about. You’ve read about my likes, interests, and personality in my previous blogs, but no one really knows what I dislike about myself. Whenever I reflect on who I am, I struggle to find the good in me. While most people focus on self-love and what they admire about themselves, I believe it’s equally important to acknowledge our flaws. After all, accepting our imperfections is a step toward self-growth

The thing I hate most about myself is that I’m clumsy. I keep stumbling, dropping things, and making a mess of the simplest tasks. Perfectionism and I? We’re sworn enemies. No matter how hard I try, I can never do anything flawlessly. If there were a degree in messing things up, I’d have a master’s by now!

Clumsiness runs through my veins. Take this, for example—whenever my parents aren’t home, they ask me to lock the house before heading to coaching on my scooter. So, I lock the door, walk to my scooter, and… realize I left my keys inside. Then I have to unlock the door again just to retrieve them. This has happened so many times that I’ve lost count!

There’s one incident that happened -I had been preparing for months to attend a close relative’s wedding—outfits planned, accessories sorted, and excitement through the roof. The day finally arrived, and as I packed my bags, I meticulously checked everything… or so I thought.

Fast forward to the journey—250 km away from home, vibing to wedding songs in the car, when suddenly, a horrifying realization hit me like a Bollywood plot twist. *I forgot my lehenga!* Yes, the very outfit I had spent weeks choosing, the one I was supposed to shine in. Panic set in. Going back wasn’t an option unless I wanted the wedding to turn into my personal road trip documentary. Thinking fast, I made a distress call—not to the police, but to the groom’s best friend. “Mission Lehenga Rescue” was launched, and thanks to him, my precious outfit made it to the venue just in time.
Lesson learned: No matter how well-prepared you think you are, always double-check *the most important thing*—or at least have a reliable backup (preferably in the form of a well-connected best friend).

The one thing I have a love-hate relationship with is my height. It’s *short*—very short. Now, don’t get me wrong, I truly believe in embracing yourself the way you are, and I do love myself. But let’s be honest—there’s a tiny (literally) part of me that wishes for a few extra inches.
I don’t want to be mistaken for a school kid when I’m clearly an adult. But hey, every cloud has a silver lining, right? The biggest perk? I always get to stand in the front—especially during dance performances. So, while I may not reach the top shelf, at least I get the spotlight!

One thing I absolutely hate about myself? My mood swings. I get irritated instantly—like a switch flipping from calm to chaos. If I’m stressed or if someone intentionally tries to annoy me, well… let’s just say, I don’t hold back. And trust me, I really don’t like people who test my patience. So what happened — it was a school trip . Me and my friends are sitting on the bus. And I was sleeping. Then one of my friends tried to irritate me. So I slapped one of them. If you know me so please don’t ever try to annoy me when I was sleeping. Otherwise, you’ll suffer the consequences.

I m horrible at sports. Like really bad. Don’t ever pick me for your team unless it’s dancing. I don’t know why I don’t like sports. When I was in school I had to participate in sports because I have no choice.

I’m an *expert-level* crier—no, seriously. And it’s not just about emotional movies (though, yes, I cry at those too). It’s *everything.* If I’m hurt, don’t expect me to explain calmly—I’ll be too busy tearing up. Yes, I might be a bit of a *drama queen*, but what can I say? I’m packed with emotions—especially the tear-filled ones. Even the most *normal* movie can have me sobbing like it’s the most tragic love story ever told. So, if you ever see me crying, don’t panic—it’s just my default setting!

The thing I hate most about myself is that I’m not confident. I can’t even express my emotions that much. I can’t assert my real feelings or words to others. I don’t know why? Am I afraid or what? I sometimes feel like whatever I’m doing is correct or not. That’s why I’m afraid to speak.

These are some reasons why I hate myself.

Till then Bye!

I’m signing off and happy reading

” MY FIRST “

Hey, first, what I had with you,
is something running in my mind which you have no clue,

Blushing and butterflies carried away
it’s the flash when you call me bae

Shivering me standing in front of you,
You held me in your arms, for a moment, the sound of your heart gave me calm.

Holding hands suddenly feels like 90s love,
When we got together, did create some buzz.

Shine in my eyes looking at you mine,
feeling like all the hustle will be fine.

Dear evening sunshine walking down the path made me realise
the compromises in between made us wise.

I want to be childish , you want to be mature
both of us together can’t handle the chaos

Fire in the skies ,meeting our eyes and
were wondering where all the time flies

You held me first in the rain giving me chills
all the moment of us still giving us the thrills

The blanket of comfort is us what I told others
drowning my memories is where I lost my fears

Every time when I call you it feels the ocean comes closer to me
tired me asking you still, can you let it be .

Fed up of you and me , fed up of me and you
the ride of lies start, which of I had no clue

Those smiling eyes and squeezy cheeks
I haven’t seen in weeks.

Leaving you alone crying in the room,
all the memories shed in one gloom

Wilder wilder it grows the timespan of us
and here it ends the buzz….

STILL THE SAME BUT STILL NOT THE SAME!

Sometimes I feel what if I stayed in my hometown and never had come to Pune. Was this little change in me still gonna happen?

I wonder if you had encountered the same old Vishakha that she was in school, You would have met the different person that she is becoming now. She is silent yet sweet, she is ignorant yet kind, she is impulsive yet strong, and she is impatient yet calm. When I look back I feel I come out strong enough to handle my problems. Yes, I’m different with different people. Give different vibes to different people. That doesn’t mean I’m not honest. or double-faced. There are several characteristics I have that define me. I’ve been thinking lately about what has changed so far that I’m still the same but not the same.

Weird things happen, weird changes happen, mistakes happen, and new experiences happen, regrets happen, new accidents come with new learnings, new people, new best friends, new groups, new interesting stories, new dire scenarios, and fun adventures Now I don’t cry over the pressure of studies I cry over the bad phase I faced. Now my life has been fun, calm, peaceful, and filled with lightness. I had my own story. My upbringing and experiences in life have shaped me and made me who I am today. I feel these stories I have to tell will inform people of who I am and what shapes me. But one thing about me I’ll appreciate is, I always consider myself above all. Yes, I will always be the main character of my life.

Although you can say I didn’t know anything till now. I didn’t have experience much. I m saying that honestly that I haven’t seen much in life. Whatever it is I’m enjoying it. I find fun in every aspect. At the end of the day, I want to sleep with a smile on my face. And that’s how I want to be. I’ve yet to experience it. Whatever I have come across so far I came to learn that I’m independent and can speak for myself. Yes, adulting is necessary !! Period:)

People who are with you contribute a lot to bring a change in yourself. I appreciate those who I have across whether positive influence or negative. I don’t regret what I’m now. How things shaped me. All I can say is that I’m a fun loving person to be around with. I feel so fortunate when I look up to the people near me and appreciate that I’m not like them. I stand out as a different personality and I don’t want to become like them.

I’m soft-hearted, creative, funny, kind, impatient, and get hyper over small things, loud, and still have clarity and sorted but sometimes a bitch. If any other I’m missing please include that. These characters build a new personality in me. There are some situations where I can’t say no even if I don’t want to. Sometimes saying no is ok for you not always tho.

THOUGHTS OF A OVERTHINKER

I know for the past few months I went offline and have not written anything. Actually after my last post i.e. https://vishblog.art.blog/romcoms-ruined-me/ I had barely anything in my mind, I m not doing anything at that time. After that my semester was over. A lot of things happened I don’t know how to sum up all those things because there is something but there is also nothing. So Here’s the month dump – Left hometown, shifted to a new place with my family, found a cute cat named her Kuku, the new semester started, had to go to Pune, night outs, clubs, all amazing fun I had, came back home, finally had Ghar ka khana, had to go back to Pune, my birthday, khadakwasla, Lonavala, exams, missing home🥺 STOP!! :))))) I had fun!

It was a whole roller coaster ride about how my last few months went. There was a little shed of tears, also an incredible joy of happiness, and also been into a thrilling ride of emotions.

After coming to Pune, I started to overthink a lot, a lot. When I m obsessing about something, I know I m overthinking. when I play out ten dire scenarios and tune out my friends and friends I m overthinking, when I overthink, I over plan, I over-stuff my life. Sometimes I think that Being an overthinker made me fall in love with myself. For me sometimes it is good to overthink only when it is ”not getting negative”. Overthinking takes me to another level of imagination, it is a whole new world. The way I start imagining things the deeper I get into it. It neither increased my expectations nor left a negative impact on my life. It simply makes me the main character of my movie. Yes, we can’t say it’s overthinking its called daydreaming perfectly.

I read articles about how to stop Daydreaming/overthinking. My question is why it should stop when it is giving you happiness. It’s not like I never get into negative thoughts I do get negative thoughts and expectations from the never-ending dreams. All this stuffs happened to but I came back to reality somehow and also I never expected anything in any of my dreams. It’s a lie I expect! Overflowing of emotions also leads to overthinking/ daydreaming and sometimes it occurs in negative emotions. To be honest, we are all Overthinking or Day Dreaming and we also know that We all have our world, our own space we need to live to that. This all should be done to a limited extent where it should not damage you. or your personality. It should not Overlap your thoughts on your personality.

After coming to Pune I feel I m more changed, more concentrating on myself, moving evolved, and what’s happening around me. feel more mature than I have ever been. I m trying out new things but all within limits. Make sure not to cross all the boundaries. I want to live to the fullest. I m a filmy person. The person who is close to me knows that I’ll live in fantasies. My dreams, imagination, and nightmares everything make me a different person.

I daydreamed because I can’t live those scenarios in my real life so why not live those in your mind? The ultimate goal is your happiness. Being with yourself, and embracing yourself doesn’t mean you’re alone. I love spending time with myself. Even most of the time I feel uncomfortable when I meet new people or to be them. I like to be surrounded by those who I m comfortable with.

Signing off :))))

ROMCOMS RUINED ME!!!

I know the title is a little weird but rom-coms had wrecked my life. ROMCOMS are not real though. But I wish it were real. I cannot resist watching it. Oh god have you ever felt butterflies🦋 in your stomach while watching some romantic movie. I don’t want that damn butterflies. It’s not like I want a similar story in my life. Ok, lemme be a little candid! YES I do want the same story in my life. I know it’s not happening. Not in this life. CAN’T HAPPEN!!

But whenever I see a movie I start visualizing things. It happens to me every time. I m an overthinker, not a normal overthinker a superlative overthinker. I put myself in that scenario. The whole night I end up imagining things and wake up with a blushing smile. Though I’m not gonna lie I enjoy imagining things. Being a hopeless romantic, this only gets my hopes up for a man with gorgeous blue eyes, a chiseled body, and a personality that isn’t superficial and so self-absorbed. That’s not even possible.

Nobody is that perfect. I’ll leave those kinds of relationships to the movies. It’s pretty easy to recognize that the behavior we often see from men in the movies is so not the behavior we see from them in real life. Where are these men? These stories are so fictitious.

My expectations are not obviously about men. But also about the lifestyle, friends, family, clothes, food, travel…umm everything. The movies have even prom night for teenagers. I’ve never been into nightclubs. I’ve never been into theme parties too and also Halloween parties. Seriously Don’t be shocked. I want to feel it all. Not gonna die without experiencing it!

What happens exactly in a typical movie. There is an unpopular/shy girl and a handsome popular guy. They don’t like each other at first. But become friends, started liking each other. What happens at the Climax, due to untoward incidence let’s say a girl regrets liking that man. But the man somehow manages to convince the girl that they love each other. In the end, there is a happy ending. BLAH!! The most typical storyline of every damn movie. Is this even real Or I m the supporting character of someone’s life. I hate being a supporting character. I want to write my own story.

Yes, here I m being hypocritical. On one side I m saying that I hate rom coms one side I m saying that I also love watching it. That’s what the problem is. I also want to watch all romcoms. I want to watch it without intensifying my expectations. While watching any series/movie My friends often said to me they relate to the story. But it never happened to me. I can’t relate to anything. I accepted that every story is a fairy tale to me.

WANT TO WATCH WITHOUT HAVING OR INCREASING ANY EXPECTATIONS.

Ps: leaving the blog here I’ve to watch She’s all that( Rom-com )🙈

My self-management skills!! 👀🥲

Recently my college asked me to submit my resume for the internship. So I mentioned my self-management skills in the resume. Actually, I don’t know I have management skills or not. So, In this blog, you get to know how my self-management skills work.

My close ones know how clumsy I m. A few days ago I came back home, I was traveling by bus alone and when I dropped off from the bus I forgot to take my suitcase back!…… Yaa I know that is so stupid of me. So what happened was when I got off the bus, some auto drivers asked me Do you want to go somewhere? I said no.. because my cousin was supposed to come to pick me up. Then I called my cousin and yelled at her because she just woke up and I told her that I reached so come pick me up. Till here I forgot that I had to take my suitcase also. My father called me and asked did you take your bag with you and I was like where is my bag. When my cousin arrived she started laughing at me constantly. THAT’S BAD. I waited for about 1 hour for the bus to come back and to get the bag back.

Till now I realised when I traveled without my parents I lost or forgot something. This was the second time I traveled alone. When the 1st time I traveled to Jaipur, I lost my locks and also left one pair of my slippers at the station. Actually what happened was it was a school tour, so we were going on the train and accidentally I left my one pair of slippers at the station. The fun fact is I forgot to leave another pair there. I brought another pair with me to home. FUNNY RIGHT!!!!! Yeah u can laugh too! XD

First I lost the lock then I lost the suitcase and next time I m gonna lose myself. Hence proved I was born upside down. And I m not proud at all.

So In all, I have flaws. I don’t appreciate it and still, try to get over it. But most important is I love every bit of myself. No matter how clumsy & stupid I am, in the end, I know that’s how I am. At least all I can do is I can improve.

NOT PERFECT BUT STILL PERFECT!!!!!!

THE TURNING POINT!!

My life got changed just within a month. When I look back at myself a month ago I realise how my life was so peaceful and finest. I realised I didn’t have to struggle for little things. From newspapers and polyethene to food and stay. I just got everything in my bed. I don’t know how to cook except for tea and Maggi. I don’t know anything. I found out after leaving my home I realized I m such a homesick person. I was going out of my house, leaving my parents was for the first time. I had never done this before. This was THE NEW EXPERIENCE !!!!!!!

On 1st December I shifted from VIDISHA (my hometown) to PUNE for my further studies. At first, I was super excited and thrilled that finally, I get to leave my home. I don’t have to ask my parents for little things. I was like I want this. After shifting my all dreams were shattered. It was all different from what I thought.

When I reached PUNE I directly went to PG which I booked through my friend. when I saw it I found out 11 people living in the house. The mattress was so bad uff. We were living in a hall. Geyser was not working in one of the bathrooms. My mother started crying when she saw all this. My heart broke because I saw her crying like that. All I could do is hug her. After that my family bought some stuff for me and dropped me off at my PG. I only know how did I spend my first day in PUNE. After some time I got to know that’s how the PGs are. The second day I went to college. I liked the college on my first day. I made some friends. We bonded over Korean dramas. The first day went well. My family was leaving home. They both came to say the last goodbye. My both parents cried. HURTFUL! I wasn’t able to sleep that day seeing their crying faces.

The same story repeats. I became friends with my roommates. The best part till date was when me and my roommates went for grabbing some coffee I saw a cute cat at a café. I love cats so much already and when I saw her it made my day.

After all this, I still tried hard to settle here. I like PUNE. The main problem is the mother tongue. I can speak Hindi cant speak Marathi. Most people speak Marathi. So language is the problem. That’s why maybe I couldn’t get along with the people in college. Sometimes I think I m a boring person or the person Infront of me is boring. IDK .

A lot of things I experienced in this phase i.e my extreme stress. Stress which is I never experienced before. I’ve been into stressful situations before too but this time it’s different. This time when I was under stress I feel a lot of load in my body. I feel so tired. I can’t even think of anything else. I just wanted to get laid on my bed. It happened a few days ago but right now I m fine.

I also want to be thankful for the situation. I got to understand the value of my lovable parents. They are the only one who knows what is going on with me. I appreciated my mom’s cooking. I miss her food so much. I regret that I can’t learn her cooking. I MISS MY GHAR KA KHANA.

This is not it. I m still struggling. I m missing my home, parents, my past life!!!